--- March 4, 2024
I realized I had not written in quite a bit of time. Not a post nor an update to my previous life post. Since I last posted, I had a lot of time to fill, my life has once again completely changed, but in this, I have seen the harvest of the tears I once cried. I have seen God amidst all the details in every aspect of my life. I have experienced and continue to experience God's glory in every area of my life. He is such a gracious father, and who are we to deserve that?
Allow me to catch you up to speed.
The last post I wrote was written at the beginning of summer 2022. I had just graduated high school, and plans were not going according to expectations. I thought I would attend GCU in Phoenix, AZ; however, plans changed, and I moved to Kentucky. I took a gap year, which was very much dreaded but necessary.
I did not see how influential that year would be on my life until I looked back and saw how God moved in that since starting school. God was in every detail. He was working everything out and preparing the way before I even knew anything.
--- May 6, 2024
Hello again! Obviously, time has a way of getting away from me, and I have not been prioritizing writing as much as I should (which is something the Lord has also been dealing with me about- if he has given me a gift of writing, why am I not then using it for His glory? How can I expect an increase if I am not being faithful for what He has given me right now? I shall be a faithful steward of all He has blessed me with). Anyways, since the last tidbit, much has changed AGAIN, and I have now finished my first year of college. :)))
Allow me to rewind once again.
Picking up where I left off, I took a gap year upon graduating. I originally wanted to pursue full-time ministry and was going to do the Barnabas Pastoral program through GCU. However, finances did not work out, and after much prayer and seeking the Lord, I knew the door was closed, and I was not meant to attend there. I moved to Kentucky, found a job at a local restaurant downtown, and stayed busy working.
To say I was miserable would be an understatement. That gap year left me with a mix of emotions. I was unhappy and confused with where I was in life. To be transparent, I felt like a failure. My entire life, in all of school, in every class, I worked to go to college. Everyone said I would be the first of my family to pursue further education. The fact that I was not going to school and working at a pizza shop made me feel like a disappointment. I was ashamed of the fact I was taking a gap year, embarrassed I was not in school. I had no clue what I wanted to do either.
I was a rollercoaster of emotions while numb at the same time to it all. I felt like I was going through the motions day after day. Wake up, go to work, come home, take a nap, eat, sleep, repeat. Over and over and over again. I had no friends, nor did I have too much of a life in Kentucky. I cried a whole bunch. I had no idea why I was where I was or where I was even headed. I questioned the Lord a lot and the direction He was taking me.
One night, I had sat down with my mom and just vented. Let out all of my pent-up emotions and thoughts of what I was dealing with in the moment. She posed the point of what if ministry is not the path I was meant to take? (at least in the way I was pursuing and wanting to go after) That thought absolutely crushed me and was one I never considered or even took to the Lord til then. However, right when she said that a little voice dropped teaching into my heart. At that exact moment, I felt the nudge toward teaching being a potential.
Eventually, I talked with a good friend from church who gave me some really solid advice and nudged me in the right direction. She was actually the one who told me about the school I now attend. I looked into other options and reconsidered school.
Maybe this is the door I was looking for? Maybe this was God's plan all along?
You know, God always has a funny way of doing things and working in every single detail. This school happens to be known for their teaching program, one of the best in the area for teaching. I went to work, praying and applying, and sure enough, I got in!! (TYJ)
Every single door opened right in front of my eyes. God swung every door of opportunity wide open and poured out blessings upon blessings.
Fast forward to Fall 2023, I started school!! I am currently majoring in Elementary Ed with an emphasis in SPED, soon to be minoring in Missions and Ministry. Starting school was exactly what I needed. This school and the community, every detail, could not be more perfect. Not only that, but teaching in itself is a ministry and one I am passionate to take on! Reaching not only students, but faculty and parents :)
Starting school, I saw God's glory in every single aspect of my life, which was spoken over me a few years back by a previous youth pastor. God is so so good.
As of right now, I have just completed my first year of college and am standing with a 4.0 GPA!! Praise Jesus! I have met the best of friends, gotten to travel and experience so much, and grown in so many ways within just my first year!
Looking back, although I tried to run from the gap year (over and over, multiple times) it was such an influential year of my life. One that has taught me so so much! I have grown in my relationship with the Lord, grown closer and more mature, taken my walk so much more seriously!! I have grown more mature as a person. I have grown to be content in stillness and peace (the majority of the time, I still like to be spontaneous and adventurous here and there, lol). I have grown to LOVE Kentucky, the nature, the people, the atmosphere, the weather, creation, and all of the environment!!! I LOVE IT HERE! It is seriously so beautiful, and God's creation is so awing every single day. I have grown to love life and to be more appreciative. I have grown in reflection, in awareness, and in myself. I have learned discernment and grown in hearing God's voice.
I have seen God in all the details of my life. He had such a purpose with that year and worked on not only me but those around me. He has provided in such divine ways. He was creating the path I am now on that I once could not see before. He has taken care of every single detail before I even have thought it. He has taught me to trust and to see His physical nature. I love the Lord. He truly is so good, so faithful, patient, and loving, and who am I to deserve such a relationship with Him. Thank you Jesus!
With that, the thing I was running from the most and found to be miserable, was the most influential and beneficial thing for me! Look at how the Lord works! He always knows better than us, and His ways are much higher than our own.
Where I last left off, I was attempting to be at peace with the new changes in my life, and although it was a big struggle for me to overcome, God used that year in the best way possible.
He has since relit my passions; he has motivated me and encouraged me along the way. He has shown himself faithful day after day. He truly has brought so much good out of patience and waiting. Although we may have our own desires in life, God is the one who plants our steps and I am oh so grateful He does and is the on in control of my life.
Within this past school year the Lord has taught me a lot:
God has taught me to write my plans in pencil because much of what I think will happen, actually turns out to be a different way. In the beginning, I had an agenda where I would write my plans in pen. Days later, I would have to cross it out because new things came up or a change of plans would happen. We may have our own thoughts, but He is the one to plant our steps and guide our path, hence I started using pencil as my plans changed over and over - But for the good:)
He has taught me to trust and that there is no need to worry when we have a faithful God going before us. Any time I would start to worry or get anxious- no joke- God, at the next minute, would show himself faithfully to provide and show that He has already worked it out! Just trust:)
He has taught me a lot about His timing. If I would have attended the school I am in now when I first got to Kentucky, I probably would have not enjoyed it as much as I have this year. He was preparing the people there (just like he was for me and my heart) way before I even got on campus!! I was there in His perfect timing and He placed the best community in my path! Praise Jesus! His plans are higher and much wiser than our own!
He has our best interest at heart, He knows exactly what we need WHEN we need it!
He has taught me how to pray. I have grown very much in my prayer life and within the ability to wield my sword (sword being the word of God).
He has taught me patience
He has taught me that He is our great comforter. Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. The beginning of the year was a little rough with personal things going on, but the Lord showed me the power of prayer and trust. He holds all things and PEOPLE in His hands!
He blesses beyond all measure, way beyond what I ever deserve! TYJ!!!
I have grown in heeding His direction and His path for my life, even if that means not all will follow or it is the road less taken
I have seen and continue to see the glory of the Lord
I have grown in contentment, stillness, and peace. To take time for the Lord.
The Lord has shown me the drastic difference in starting my day with Jesus compared to when I do not make time for the Lord. And goodness, my attitude, perspective, time management, and motivation are so much better when I have spent time in the Lord's presence. Thank you Jesus for refreshment.
The Lord has shown me and poured into me the joy of His word, presence, and spirit, and I thank God for His joy unspeakable
If you could not tell, the Lord has grown me in many ways and is still continuining in His works. This year has been one of much growth and I am so thankful for that!
Looking forward, God has provided me with a ministry opportunity to partake in over the summer. I will be able to travel to mulitple locations around the country to be able to reach kids in the areas with the message of the Gospel! I am beyond excited, and I pray God does far more exceedingly than what I can ask, think, or imagine through this organization.
After summer, I will start my second year of college and I am stoked to see all of what God continues to do there! Our God is such a faithful God, and I love Him so much! He has seriously taken care of me and blessed me with this life I get to live.
If you have made it this far, thanks for sticking with me through all the stories lol. I hope it can serve as encouragement to you in whatever season you may be going through, and at the least may it serve to glorify the Lord all the more in how He works!
Stay tuned for all the more updates:))
with love,
Ava :)
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