A living, breathing, walking testimony of the Lord and His faithfulness- my testimony as of recent...
The Lord is good and He sure is faithful. Recently, I have truly been reflecting upon the Lord's hand in every detail of my life and it has made me aware of his ever presence and sovereignty. He is such a good good father and who am I to deserve any of that?
Before I was even born, He knit me together in my mother's womb. Before I ever took a breath, He had great plans for my life and was preparing a way for me. As I am in this season of life, I feel I becoming closer to Him than ever and am discovering His plans for me are unfolding before my very eyes.
This is my story :)
I used to struggle with the concept of a testimony growing up. I never thought I had one because I didn't come from anything traumatic, no drugs or harsh life, no abuse or addiction. I would always hear of these hard stories or lives and compare my walk to theirs. But who am I to belittle what God has done and IS doing in my life just because I haven't gone through anything to other people's extent? My testimony, although is not super crazy, is my own story of how God has moved in my life, used me, and spoken to me. Glory to God for revealing himself to me and keeping me from certain things growing up. So praise God and may He continue to get all the glory from my story.
I was fortunate enough to have grown up in a Christian household and have known Jesus since I was little. I would say I was a pretty average kid growing up. I loved school and thrived in academics. I liked to be involved in the student council and different things throughout school. I liked to help out at home, play with my brothers, or in my room with my toys. I especially enjoyed playing teacher after I would get home from school and pretend to teach my stuffed animals. I grew out of this as I got older and then I thought I would become YouTube famous as I loved to make videos. (still have that dream sometimes lol)
Moreover, I grew up going to church and Sunday school pretty much every weekend. With this being said, I accepted Jesus into my life and got baptized when I was 9 years old. This was the start of my walk and I joined our church's youth group right after I was promoted from 5th grade.
From there I got to go to my very first church camp with my brothers the summer going into 6th grade. This camp was the very first time I experienced the Holy Spirit and His presence. I got baptized in the Holy Ghost and started speaking in tongues. I was on fire coming home from the camp, and like most camps I burnt out and went into regular life again. A few months after this, my family and I moved to Arizona. For a while it was a struggle to find a home church. With this and the fact my brothers never wanted to go or wake up on a Sunday made it difficult for my mom and I to get to church. We eventually found one in the area that we would go to, but were never truly plugged in.
In this season, throughout middle school, I felt like I only went to God when I needed something. I would pray to him when something was going on, but I did not have a true relationship with him. I could not remember the last time I spoke in tongues or felt his presence.
This led all the way to sophomore year of highschool. 2020. Covid hit and we were stuck at home. Everything was online. Church. School. Jobs. It was a rough patch, one that was hard to find motivation in the midst of.
It was in this season that my mom began seeing lots of videos and things talking about the end times, revelations, and just scary things going on in the world. I did not feel like I was in a good place with God. It was in the midst of this, that I began to question, "Am I going to Heaven?" "Do I know the Lord like I should?" "Where would I go if I died today?" And upon trying to answer those, I realized I was not following the Lord like I should.
It was that night I was crying in my bed, giving my heart back to the Lord. Then was the first time I truly heard the Lord speak to me. I opened my little bible I had since I was a kid and it was to Proverbs 4:4, which says "Keep my commands and you will live."
This blew me away. I started sobbing even more, and it was then that I started speaking in tongues again and praying immensely. This revival and transformation of my heart is what kickstarted my relationship with the Lord, got me actively involved in church, and is the reason I am where I am today. From that night, I bought a new Bible, one that was more mature and I could write in. I spent days in my room during Covid just reading and soaking in all the Lord was speaking to me. I was a sponge- I am a sponge! The year of 2020 was a year to see clearly, to refocus and get back on track with the Lord.
Doors opened to get involved and connected into the church we had attended for years. I started becoming a part of the youth. I grew a family in this church. My faith was built up. I was spreading the Lord in school, I was bringing people to church. All through the Lord working in and through me. Praise be to God that He caught ahold of my heart.
I attended my second youth camp with that church and what a revival and God thing that was. That youth camp is where I felt I found my calling, grew so much in my faith, and received words spoken over me. Coming home I was on fire again, there was true transformation unlike ever before. Senior year of high school I found I wanted to pursue ministry and attend GCU's Barnabas Pastoral program.
Going to college has always been a big thing for me and in my life. No one in my family has ever graduated from college. I was and am a first generation college student- in both my parents, siblings, all my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, I am the first to go to college and I plan on graduating. Since I was little, I have had my heart set on university. Though the school always changed, I knew I would go to school- I was bound for it. However, the one thing I did not want, was debt. I was worried about going to school and being in loads of debt and student loans.
Three days after graduating high school, my parents moved to Kentucky. I decided to spend the summer with them and figured I would just move into college in Arizona in August. Time came to visit Arizona before moving in and I felt the Lord shifting something in my plans. I was faced with the expense it would be to attend GCU. It was more than expected and I had no idea how I was going to pay it. I gave it to the Lord and believed that if it was His will I go to GCU, He would open the door for it and make a way. Time came for me to make the decision and there were still no financial doors opening. I had to decline GCU.
This was a heart wrenching decision. I was heart broken and devastated at the fact I was not going to school nor rooming with my best friend like our plans had been. I felt like a failure. I felt ashamed. I had so many emotions and was so confused as to why I was not able to go to school. I decided to take a gap year and live with my parents. I worked for the year and felt the most unproductive and discontent I had ever felt in life. I was a rollercoaster of emotions. Always crying, feeling alone, feeling ashamed and embarrassed of the gap year.
Still I stuck to seeking the Lord and trying to grow in my relationship with Him. He felt like all I had that year. I was in a completely different state, knew no one, was not plugged in or connected to our church, not serving like I had, had no goal in mind. I was reminded of the story in the Bible of martha and mary, and how there is a time to be martha and a time to be mary. This was my season to rest, to be in the Lord's presence. To be still. However, I fought against it. I could not embrace the stillness, the what I thought was stagnance.
After a conversation with my mom about the future and the feelings I was going through she mentioned the idea of what if ministry is not what the Lord has called me to. This statement all on its own crushed my heart and broke me into pieces. That is all I wanted to do. I simply wanted to serve the Lord and work in ministry. However, it was in that moment I felt the Lord drop the word teaching into my spirit. I pondered on it and prayed that night about our conversation. I began to lean more into this.
Shortly after this, I got lunch with a friend from church who I felt mentored me at the time. I opened up to her about some of the things I was going through and about the conversation I had with my mom. She brought up a very good point. (Just for some context I am one who gets bored of a job very easily, I do not like monotonous jobs or holding the same job for a long time because I get bored and tired of it. (I've worked on this since lol)) But knowing this, she mentioned what if ministry is not in the cards for me right nowww, because the Lord does not want me to get burnt out of serving him? He does not want me to go through the motions in that job. He is actually protecting my relationship with Him and my heart to serve Him, by making it not be my job. I had never thought about that possibility before, but it was one that made a lot of sense and put me at ease.
We then started talking about teaching. No coincidence at all- the school she had graduated from is known for their teaching program in the area!! What are the odds? She started teaching me about finances too, and loans and how to afford college. She was and is a Godsend!
After our conversation, I felt inspired to look into school again! I applied to the school, which was only 45 minutes from my parents and it seemed to be a cheaper option. After this the Lord immediately started opening all the doors and I felt like I was on the right path! I was going to teach- I am going to teach! And this is something I am passionate about and have been since I was little! My childhood teacher dreams are coming to fruition!!
Fast forward, coming to this school has been exactly what I needed. This school is better than I could have ever done in my own strength. Better than GCU!! I have seen the Lord in every single detail of my life here! AH the Lord is so good and so so evident among this campus! My first year on campus last year was one of the best times ever! I met such special friends and people. I started going after my calling and growing into who I am and who the Lord has created me to be. He placed me here at perfect timing because if I would have come a year earlier I would not have had the friends I do now! The Lord has even provided in the finance area as tuition has been lowered! Praise God!
He has opened doors, he has been in all my classes and schedules, giving me perfect times. He has provided me a job with perfect hours to be able to work but still be involved on campus and in events!
Through Cumberlands, I was able to find out about Winshape Camps. A summer camp opportunity to serve in! I had always wanted to be a camp counselor and the Lord opened the doors for it perfectly with such an awesome organization! This past summer, I was able to travel all around the US for 9 weeks and spread the message of the Gospel to kids from kindergarten to fifth grade!
What a special and impactful summer that was! Seriously got to meet some of the coolest people and meet lifelong friends! Yes it was hard in so many ways, testing and tempting, however, the Lord truly was my strength. I was taught that the Lord answers specific prayers, and one thing I saw the Lord truly answer EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE SUMMER, was providing me with unexplainable energy. One thing I prayed for going into the summer was Lord give me indescribable energy to be able to show up and do camp!
Yes it was hard to wake up in the mornings, and I would be tired, but every single day immediately as the kids started to arrive I would no longer be tired. The Lord would give me a surge of energy that lasted all throughout my day! That is just one way the Lord was evident over the summer. Not only that, but He grew my faith, my comfortability, my boldness, and courage. He grew my joy and my strength. I was taught to rely upon Him in ALL things. Man what a rewarding summer it was and still is to reflect upon.
During the summer, there were applications open to sign up to be a campus rep. Which is someone who recruits students on campus to come work the summer for them! I did not think too much about this, I really was not even interested at first. It was coming down to the deadline to apply and I figured there's no harm in at least applying. I applied and put it in the Lord's hands and believed that what was meant to be would be and He would open whatever doors needed to be opened.
Man, won't He do it! Just yesterday I found out I was chosen to be a campus rep for my school and I am beyond excited about what this opportunity holds! The Lord has already been showing up and present this year at school!
Last year I struggled with finding a home church I felt I was truly connected to and plugged in at. This year I prayed for a home church specifically and have been obedient in going there! AND MAN IS THIS CHURCH AWESOME AND AN ANSWERED PRAYER! It is spirit led and so filling! I absolutely love this church and am excited to grow and become more connected. God has been so so faithful in ALL things! From the simplest to the largest of tasks, God is present. He is faithful.
He has been so perfect in timing and in every detail of my life to this point. I could not be where I am today if it were not for Him. I can confidently say that right now, right where I am is EXACTLY the place the Lord wants me to be in life! God is such a good and faithful God. He cares even about the simplest things we tend to worry about. He has been teaching me continually to write my plans in pencil because they always seem to change. He is the author and the finisher of my days, He is the one to guide my every step. He is in control of my life and praise the Lord He is and not me! He has been making it evident to me to not worry about the days to come or what each day holds, but to focus on the now and to be present in Him.
He has been faithful to show up in every single worry and stressor of my life, teaching me He has it under control and He is in the midst. I have seen the impact being in the word has had on my life. I can see and feel the drastic difference in my days when I start with Him compared to not. And I can truthfully say that I prefer my days starting with the Lord than not.
God is faithful to provide and make a way when you begin to prioritize Him and make Him first in your life. In every detail, with every timing, and in every season, God is there and working in the midst of my life. He has turned all things around for the good, and the tears once cried do not even begin to compare to the joy I experience now and WILL experience once in His presence forever! Praise be to the Lord for changing plans and for being sovereign in my life. Though I may have my own thoughts and desires, I am thankful the Lord is the one who plants my steps and knows ultimately what is best and most beneficial for me. Who am I to question the one who knows all things and puts all things together? Who am I to think I know best? I can not even begin to express who thankful I am to the Lord for revealing himself to me, for being in my life, and for how I get to serve my God!
I pray that through this post you were able to be encouraged in some way and even praise God for the work that He has done and is doing! The Lord is not done with your story or any of our stories and will continue the good work til He returns! Do not lose sight in the midst of trouble or adversity. Do not give up when things get hard or confusing, press into the Lord. Taste and see that the Lord is good!
Thanks for reading, God bless<3
Ava Santiago:)
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